Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Decide to Be Decisive

We make so many decisions in a given day, but what matters most is what influences us and how we make them. I am sure some of you are highly influenced by mutual decisions, ie: consulting others for our decisions.
Many of us struggle with the process of decision making at times. Whether at home, or at work, sometimes we become paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong decision and this fear will often leads us to avoid making decisions promptly and we end up making our decisions based on other people’s opinions or advice.
For example, when someone asks, “Where do you feel like going for lunch?”
You might reply:
“Wherever you like.”
“Your choice.”
“Anything is fine.”
We often give dismissive responses which  also doesn’t answer the question asked and this becomes a habit of “indecision”. This habit of indecision can become an  obstacle in achieving our most important goals in life. Think about it.

It all boils down to “Change”.  We have to become more aware of situations and surroundings to bring about good changes in our lives. 
Firstly, we must accept the fact that we do this often. Secondly, we should make a  decision to be responsive of our own decisions and not let others decide for us. We should make a commitment to our self on the same. Decision making is a skill and just like any other skill, it improves with more practice. The best way to exercise your ‘decision making skill’ is to practice on a daily basis by responding to small decisions that you make every day. With  time, you will notice a tremendous difference, if dealt with properly. You can do this by following these tips.
1.   Avoid responding with a dismissive remark such as “umm, I don’t know” or “it’s your choice”.
2.    Stop for a moment and give yourself some time to think.
3.    Become aware of what your ‘gut feeling’ is
4.   State your opinion confidently.

Now, the next time someone asks you “What movie would you like to see?” don’t leave the decision making up to others. Instead, stop for a moment, become aware of your ‘gut feeling’, and then state your opinion confidently. For example: you might say something like “I feel like seeing a comedy…” Now doesn’t that make a difference?
As you practice this simple exercise, it becomes easier to understand your gut feelings and realize what you really want instead of always being influenced by those around you. And you will be able to express your feelings and opinions easily. And no one else will be responsible for your decisions but you.
Cheers!
Vishal D

6 comments:

Romit Jethwaney said... [Reply]

Beautiful ;) As we spoke ;)

bbrasley said... [Reply]

Your post today is very thought provoking. I always give these dismissive responses because I don't want to appear to be bossy. It is really hard for me to state my opinion. I think I just want people to like me. The sad thing is, people don't even know the real me if I don't ever let them see my preferences. Plus, I hardly know myself - having lost touch with my "gut." I am going to try to take this step the next time someone asks for my opinion on where we should eat or what we should see. Thank you. Belinda

Vishal Dharamdas said... [Reply]

@Romit Jethwaney
Thanks Bro :-)

Vishal Dharamdas said... [Reply]

@bbrasley
Hey Belinda... I am glad you have decided to put this into practice :-) I am sure you will soon reveal the real you and will people will love to have you around them! Infact you will motivate them with your actions!
All the best!
Cheers :-)

willow said... [Reply]

Great advice! I like this.

Helen Johnson said... [Reply]

This is a very well written article.Great food for thought.

On that note, I too find myself giving dismissive responses especially when dealing with a difficult personality type. But after reading this article I realize that I am doing a disservice to that individual and to myself in not expressing my opinions when asked. Thank you for you share!

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