Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Talking to Yourself

Do you ever find yourself talking to yourself? Either out loud or quietly in your mind? A lot of people associate talking to yourself as a little strange. Some even say that if you talk to yourself, you’re just a lonely person with no real friends and that you may need to seek a psychiatrist. But I don’t agree with that. I don’t even agree with anyone who has anything negative to say about talking to yourself. The reason being that anyone who has a healthy mind will find themselves talking to themselves more often than not. But how does it affect us?

It’s been discovered that talking to yourself is not only normal, but may in act, help a person to become a better problem solver as well as have a more enjoyable life.

When you are talking about yourself, Are your thoughts negative ones or positive one? Many people talk negatively about themselves and have negative thoughts about themselves. Have you ever heard someone say something like, "I just cannot get that right. I am a complete idiot." You have said or you have heard someone say something like, "How could I be so stupid ?" This is a common thing to hear, especially if someone is feeling down about themselves at a particular point. The unfortunate thing is that these people probably don't know what a huge impact that negative self talk and those negative thoughts are having on their lives.

We Are Affected By What We Say To Ourselves!

What you say to yourself does affect you in some way or the other. Our realities start with our thought process. As we say or think certain things, our subconscious mind absorbs it and perceives it. We may not be aware of this, but the chances it happening are pretty much likely. For example, if someone worries over jumping off a diving board, and thinks that he or she is going to fail or become scared up there, chances are it will happen. When you constantly think that something is going to happen or you're going to be scared, you will convince yourself to be scared and you will most likely fail. On the other hand, if that same person had the inner belief that he or she would have a perfect jump, the odds increase greatly in favour of he or she making a great jump. This is how our thoughts and our words affect us. It is important that you take control of your thoughts and actions if you want to pursue your dreams.

Now, your probably asking yourself, “How do I take control of my thoughts ?" You cannot change your thought process overnight, it takes 21 days to form a habit.

Firstly, if you find yourself talking negatively to yourself, change it by becoming more aware of your thoughts. And replace them with positive thoughts. For example, if you find yourself saying, “I will never be able to become rich." Change it to, "I am rich and money flows easily and frequently into my life !" It is important that you believe in what you say to yourself and not just say it for the sake of it. Analyze your negative thoughts and convert them to positive ones and keep repeating them to yourself frequently, whenever you are standing in a line to pay your bills or while you drive/walk to work or in your free time. After a few days you will notice a major change in your approach or the way you respond to negative situations.

The way you think is the way you act! Put this into practice and notice the person you become. An approachable, confident and positive person.

Vishal D


Anonymous said... [Reply]

The article was definitely well worded but there are certain points which can not be ignored. I feel that someone who is negative in nature will take more than a lifetime to overcome it. 21 days or 21 years will not make a difference. It is better to harness that negativity to push ones own potential and limit. Taking your example: if someone says I will never be able to be rich the fact that he or she starts changing it to i am rich and money flows might have a huge repercussion. The person may just land up blindsiding his core incompetencies but on the contrary if he/she changes to i will never get rich if i don't work. then in this case the person will automatically condition his brain to work harder. your line of thought totally eliminates the elements of hard work, dedication. self belief in life is important but the positive belief should be backed by a reality check. a habit can break instantly only if the mind is strong and there are a lot of examples to prove this.

Anonymous said... [Reply]

One last thing you seem to defy Murphy's laws all together. if people followed what u have said then shouldn't we leave out economic restructuring and start doling out mind classes for the poor to eradicate poverty?

Anonymous said... [Reply]

Certain thoughts sometimes flow into ones mind & take their own shape. People do feel more confident when they psyche themselves to believe they can do a certain thing & that belief can take them a long way! Lot of examples to prove this too.

Does everything one says have to be followed with a reality check??? That can follow after you gain the confidence in yourself to go ahead & make that dream come true no?

Anonymous said... [Reply]

Dear Anonymous,
Belief without a reality check is like finding a unicorn. According to Psychological Society's Research psyching yourself as u put would eventually lead the other person into a shell or could lead them into depression because they have planned without any check on reality. To have belief without understanding your own potential and limitations could have adverse effects on the mind when failure sets in. I would love to hear an example that could bear testimony to your claim.
Let me answer your Billion dollar Question now: Yes everything requires a reality check because belief not backed by a garnish of reality could spell disaster; would love to have you try and psyche our Indian athletes so that they can go and maybe thrash Usain Bolt and break the world record. I am sure the whole country would definitely applaud you or maybe better still you should go to the stock markets and Psyche the investors into some confidence and shake them out of their foolish reality & if u do succeed then i am sure uncle Sam would pay the world to u to help him salvage his ailing economy.
Confidence comes when you have the ability or are striving to gain that ability that brings you closer to your dream. I Still say that understanding your potential and then working will definitely spell success in the long run. Belief which makes you understand your weaknesses will always help overcome those weaknesses.As for my dear anonymous writer if i sum up what u have said in a few words (being as subtle as I can!) its like a doctor who's worried about a sunburn on a patient who's on the stage iv of cancer.

Lyn said... [Reply]

They say only the smartest people talk to themselves, especially talking out loud. 'Cos these people are able to internalize and express themselves out. That way, solving problems tend to be easier.


Vishal Dharamdas said... [Reply]

I agree with you Lyn...Hence we should do it too, if we want to be successful.


Jolly Princess said... [Reply]

Vishal D, you are a great motivator. Yes, I agree in positive thoughts. It is why I always tell myself. I am YBS. (Young, Beautiful, Sexy) Thanks for the visit and following my blog. Count my visits in the coming days. :)

Connie Lee said... [Reply]


I love this post! It's so accurate.

I wrote about a recent experience I had which relates to your thoughts. You can find it at:


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